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We can not start to improve until we know who we
are.
Self-knowledge is the beginning of
self-improvement.
Spanish Proverb

When patterns are broken, new
worlds emerge.
Tuli Kupferberg
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Clinical
Articles
East Bay CAMFT . .
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"Playing
With Your Clients: Play Therapy
Benefits Children
& Families"
by
Deborah P. Rogers
MFT
Published in
"The East Bay Therapist" March/April
2004
A child acts out a story about a
small infant who has to sleep on the roof of a pretend
house, cold with no blanket, while saying: “The baby might
fall off during the night.” Another child creates an
angry drawing of a house filling with red, roaring flames,
and tells a story about how the kids are in the house, dad
is asleep and the kids are going to catch on fire. It
is incredible how quickly a child will show you what
feelings are circulating inside of them— and inside of their
family—through the language of play.
Like the canary in the coalmine,
kids have an amazing amount of knowledge about the subtle,
and not so subtle, feelings that are present in their
family, and they are often able to reveal these things more
easily than guarded adults. This article takes a look
at the way in which play therapy with a child can shed light
on the issues of their adult parent, benefiting the child,
the parent, and the family as a whole. But first a few
words about play therapy itself.
The Language of
Children Children learn about the world through play and they
also use play to process their feelings and worries.
Most children would rather not spend too much time trying to
talk about their feelings in a cognitive way, but they are
quite skilled and comfortable with playing out their
feelings. The therapist’s goal is to decode the
language of a child’s play in order to discover their
underlying feelings and needs. It’s actually rather similar
to looking for the disguised messages that are found in the
symbolic language of dreams.
At first glance, a play therapy
session looks rather similar to the regular play activities
that you might see a child doing at home: making drawings,
playing games, creating songs, playing hide-and-seek,
dancing, or story telling. Depending on the particular
therapist’s office, the child is often able to choose from a
variety of toys, sandtray, drawing supplies, clay, musical
instruments, games, puppets, pretend house and miniature
figures. Some activities allow the child to play
alone, or in a parallel way with the therapist, and others
invite interactive play that is cooperative or
competitive.
The biggest difference between regular play and play
therapy is the therapist’s objective of guiding the child
toward processing their difficult feelings, correcting
mistaken beliefs, developing healthier outcomes and moving
toward healing. Generally speaking, the play is
child-directed. The child chooses what activity they
would like to do. The therapist paces with the child
and narrates some of the play, putting the child’s feelings
into words, inviting the child to elaborate on things that
are happening in the play and to correct any of the
therapist’s comments that aren’t accurate.
When the play therapist listens carefully and makes
comments that resonate accurately with the child’s feelings,
the child will often continue with an elaboration of the
story and will give important details about their family
experiences. Children are in the room with you 100%
and they very much want you to be in the room with them at
this same 100% level. When children feel accurately
understood in a play therapy session, they sometimes let out
a sigh of relief and leave the playroom skipping and smiling
as if they feel totally free and happy. What a
powerful healing experience to share with them!
A Case Example – Benefits Beyond the
Child In session, Marion, a 35-year-old
working mother, begins to rattle off a long list of
frustrations, with desperation in her voice. Marion
originally entered therapy to work on the conflicts she was
having at the office, but now the focus has shifted to the
recent, acting out behavior of Daniel, her five-year-old
son. Could Daniel be enacting some of the unspoken
tensions that are happening at home?
In addition to continuing her ongoing with Marion,
Marion’s therapist refers Daniel to a play therapist for a
few sessions, and gets permission for the two therapists to
discuss the case. This intervention helps to calm things
down at home, and it also provides an important new
perspective on Marion’s own relational
conflicts.
So what might play therapy look like with this
child? Themes in the play quickly start to
appear. Daniel insists on acting very bossy in
session, tries to tell the therapist what to do and says:
“No, no… you aren’t doing it right!” The miniature
figures that he plays with are never allowed to make a
mistake. If a figure does make a mistake, the
character dies a gruesome death; figures die in the sand
tray, they die in puppet play and they die as checker pieces
when they are aggressively jumped and knocked off the
board. Anybody that tries to come and help these
various figures or game pieces fails repeatedly and ends up
feeling hopeless and getting crushed. Daniel’s toy
physically attacks the helping character and says, “Go away,
you can’t help because you will die too.” This child
is rarely able to relax and play in a creative and
lighthearted way and has trouble tolerating more revealing
activities such as drawing a picture of his family or his
day at school.
The play therapist begins looking for the deeper
source of these painful, hopeless feelings. What
important people or events in this child’s life are causing
him to feel that there are no solutions? In the midst
of playing out a particularly stressful story, the therapist
briefly breaks out of character and asks, “And who in your
house has the most rules? Daniel, now immersed in his
feelings, indicates his mother and tells about the time when
he felt particularly frustrated and
mad.
After a few play sessions, the two therapists discuss
their mutual case. The child’s therapist shares
information about how the child perceives his mother.
Based on the child’s play and his comments about his mother,
there appear to be some pretty rigid rules, constant lessons
and stressful interactions at home. Marion’s therapist
suspects that her adult client is bringing this same
rigidity into the workplace, and is causing the very
stresses she complains of herself. She brings this new
piece of the puzzle into her work with Marion, making
connections between Marion’s other interpersonal
relationships at the office and at home: What is her average
level of stress, how rigidly or creatively does she approach
problem-solving interactions with others, and what are her
beliefs and rules about how a child should behave?
The Healing Process
After Daniel plays out his stressful
feelings, with the play therapist seeing and reflecting
those feelings clearly, he begins feeling better. In
addition, the therapist models appropriate responses as she
talks “for” the game pieces and other figures. Daniel
learns that it is OK to have these feelings and also learns
appropriate ways to express these feelings to others. In one
session the therapist speaks for the dinosaur: “Every time I
try to go eat some grass, the big lion comes and pushes
me over so I can’t eat. That lion is scary and I don’t
like it when he hurts me. Stop hurting me lion! I need
to go get some help so I can eat. I’m really hungry.” Once
Daniel begins to internalize these simple ways of expressing
feelings, he begins to apply them at home. His mother
comes in to her session one day and says, “I was really
surprised this week when my son told me that they didn’t
like it when I yelled at them”. Yes! Another big step
toward healthy family communication!
The play therapist invites Marion and
her husband to come in for a session by themselves so they
can talk about their frustrations in dealing with the acting
out behavior as well as talking about the strengths they see
in their son. At another point, she invites the
parents to join Daniel in a play therapy session so the
family dynamics can be seen first hand. Are they able
to connect with their child through the language of
play? Are they expecting him to act like an adult
complying with lots of rigid rules?
Things improve further as the play
therapist teaches the parents specific parenting and
communication skills. Marion begins to develop
insights about how her rigid parenting style is negatively
impacting her child. Marion’s own therapist supports
these insights and helps her realize how the same behaviors
affect her workplace interactions and relationships with
others in the family. So coordination of interventions
between therapists can be quite helpful to the parent, the
child and the whole family.
Working with children is very
special, with so many profound, healing, unexpected,
challenging and funny moments. There just never seems
to be a dull moment when you have the privilege of playing
with your child clients... and it can enrich our work with
their adult family members as
well.
TOP 
California
Association for Play Therapy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Play Therapy in Australia &
Japan"
Insights & Inner Views from
the work of Australian play therapist and researcher Dr.
Karen Stagnitti Featuring Columnist,
Deborah Rogers
MFT
Published in "The CALAPT Newsletter"
Volume 13, Number 3, Jan 2003
Dr. Stagnitti is a very active Senior Lecturer
in Education and Training at the Greater Green Triangle
University, Department of Rural Health in Warrnambool,
Australia. In case you aren’t that familiar with
Australia, Warrnambool is located on the southern coastline,
west of Melbourne. She is also quite dedicated to
continuing her research on the importance and success of
using play in order to best help
children .
Important research findings have been generated by
Dr. Stagnitti on the positive impact of using
child-initiated pretend play. These finding
were recently published in the January/February 2004
issue of the American Journal of Occupational Therapy.
"Test-Retest Reliability of the Child-Initiated Pretend Play
Assessment", was written by she and Dr. Carolyn Unsworth,
both from Australia. Then in March 2004, The
Australian Occupational Therapy Journal, volume 51, issue 1,
page 3, carried another of Karen Stagnitti’s papers on
"Understanding Play: The Implications for Play
Assessment."
Karen: So far in my
career, the play therapy experiences that I have had are in
working with children in Australia and children in
Japan.
Deborah: It seems like there
might be quite a few differences in play therapy between
those two parts of the world! What are some of the
special things that you have
noticed? Karen: From what I have
observed during play assessments and in some of my play
intervention sessions, I found it interesting that the
Australian children showed a wide range of play themes,
while the Japanese children did a lot of domestic activities
within their play. As an illustration of this
point, I noticed that the Japanese children did not
recognize a toy wrench that I have as part of my play
materials. They were much more familiar with the
domestic elements of life. Whereas all of the
Australian children easily knew what the toy wrench
was. In Australia, people tend to "do it yourself"
whereas in Japan, only certain people know how to fix things
because that is their actual job.
Deborah: What are some
of the most exciting and valuable elements of sharing play
therapy ideas and theoretical
approaches cross culturally?Karen:
I think it is fascinating to discover
the aspects of play that
occur across the board in every
culture. I also enjoy finding the
unique differences in the child’s
play that reflect the society that the child
is from.
Deborah: How involved do
parents in Australia become in their
child’s therapeutic work? Are there differences between how the
mother, father and extended family
participate? Karen:
I have
noticed that in play intervention sessions, the siblings
often joined in and I didn’t discourage this as I think it
is important that they feel included. As far as parent
participation goes, there was a wide range of
responses. There were parents who were deeply involved
and also parents who really didn’t see the relevance of play
to their child at all. In my experience, it seemed
that mother’s tended to be more aware of what the child was
capable of than the fathers.
Deborah: How did you become
interested in becoming a play
therapist? Karen: My involvement has
been from a love of play and an interest in how complex both
play and play therapy are. One of my passions has been
to develop assessment tools for play therapy. I feel
that the concept of play would be taken more seriously if it
could be assessed more effectively. To that end I have
spent the last few years developing a play assessment tool
called "The Child-Initiated Pretend Play Assessment" which
so far, is showing good reliability and validity. From
this assessment, I have also developed a play program to
help children develop their ability to play. We
have been getting some nice results with children that
have Autism and other developmental delays.
Deborah: What are some
of the ways that you would describe your philosophy of how a
child heals through the use of play
therapy? Karen: I believe that play is
important to a child’s development because it encompasses
emotional, social, cognitive and language aspects of
development. Play is the natural medium that children
use to communicate in their world. And play is also an
important measure of the child’s
development.
Deborah: What do you
find are some of the most interesting points about working
with children?
Karen: I enjoy the fact that playing with
children is unpredictable. You never quite know what
is going to happen in a session. It is also very exciting
when children start to gain insights regarding their lives
and/or develop new skills. Those are very special
times.
Deborah: Throughout your
career, you must have had many powerful moments that have
touched you deeply. Karen: Yes, once I saw a child
during an Axline session, who let it be know that she didn’t
like her nickname. The nickname was something
demeaning like Dumbo. Her Mum had no idea that this was a problem
for her daughter. After the family stopped using this
negative nickname, the child’s self-esteem improved
considerably and interactions with other members of the
family improved as well. Another powerful moment
happened with a boy who had Autism. It was
wonderful when this boy finally began to gain skills in his
ability to play and was actually able to spend an entire
hour in true cooperative play with 4 other boys in the
sandpit at his local preschool. This was a major
turning point in his interactions with his
peers.
Deborah:
What do you feel are some of the important things that play
therapists should understand? Karen: I
believe that it is quite important for play therapists to
learn how to measure play effectively so they can show the
improvements that their child clients make to other
professionals that are involved in the
case.
Deborah: What do you see as some of
the most common mistakes that play therapists
make? Karen:
This one is difficult to answer. Some play therapists
feel that what they do isn’t as important as other
therapies. I believe that this is a mistaken
belief.
Deborah: What are your
views on the degree of directiveness that is best in
working with a child? Karen:
For children who have no idea how to play, I am quite directive. As
the child begins to
direct his/her own play, I become more nondirective.
In my work, most of the
children that I see
don’t know how to play unless they are
shown.
Deborah: We often invite our clients
to discover various ways to revitalize
their lives so they can
grow and create health for themselves. What are some of
the things that rejuvenate
you? Karen: I am fortunate enough to
live near a beach and I
find walking on the beach very rejuvenating. I also garden and I
enjoy going out to cafes
for coffee with friends… I like that a
great deal!
Deborah: We are always looking for
new and interesting ideas of
activities to do with our clients. What have you found to
be some of the most
powerful techniques in working with
a
child and their family? Karen: I have
found using pretend play a powerful technique to
use.
Deborah: What are some
techniques for inviting hesitant children to
participate in therapy? Karen: I
have been given a crab puppet, where the crab is inside the shape of
a shell. The
fingers go through the shell section to fingergloves, which pop out of the
shell. The
"creature" in the shell can be shy, just like the child, and need
encouragement to play. Also, I sometimes have
found that leaving toys
out and starting to play with them myself will often encourage a
child to join in, since
there is no pressure on the child to do
anything.
Deborah: Overall, what
would you say is the significance of play in regards to
mental health? Karen:
Play allows a child to express who they are and who they could be.
Play also allows the
space that is necessary for a child to explore their ideas and to enter
other worlds.
Deborah: What are a few important
points that you would like to pass along to
other play
therapists? Karen: I would very much
like for other play therapists to know that what they do
is so vital to
children’s health and development.
So, keep on
playing!
Many thanks to you, Dr.
Stagnitti, for sharing your time and insights with our
CALAPT readers.
And appreciation also goes out to
our CALAPT
past-president, Jessica Stone, for making this interview
possible.
TOP 
Note:
The use of this web site or
email link does not in any way imply
a patient-therapist
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If you do what you've always
done... You'll get what
you've always gotten.
Anonymous

We have only this
moment... Sparkling like
a star in our hand... And melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before
it is too late.
Marie
Beynon Ray
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